Why We Stay in Painful Patterns (Even When We Want Love)
In this conversation from The Relationship Lab, I speak with Dr. Maya Coleman about a dynamic many people recognize but struggle to name:Why we often remain in patterns that hurt us, rather than risk the uncertainty of change.
Key Insights
We don’t choose pain because we want to suffer, we choose what feels familiar and predictable
The nervous system often prefers a known discomfort over the risk of new emotional injury
Real change in relationships requires the ability to tolerate vulnerability without shutting down or becoming defensive
This is where many couples get stuck, not because they don’t care, but because stepping into something different feels uncertain and, at times, unsafe.
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